Thursday, June 4, 2009

A Day Off With the Puppy

I wish what follows was a fictional account of the start to my day. Sadly, every word is true.

Morning glory. Not an apt title for this morning's subject. I'd intended to get the laundry started early today, and rose at 630 to head for the bathroom. I froze when I saw a dark but unmistakable brown puddle on the stair to my right, just below eye level. Damn. Not again. The dog was standing at the foot of the stairs, wagging his entire body expectantly. My first half-step toward him was alarming for the cold wetness that spread and oozed beneath my foot from heel to toe. That moderately unpleasant sensation was quickly followed by the horror of realization, the one that screams DOG SHIT! My resultant groan had the timbre of dismay, tinged with regret, and was rounded out with a healthy dollop of outrage. I suspect the kids pulled their covers past their ears and smiled sleepily, before returning to their sugarplum dreams. I stood, my recoiled foot poised, hovering above the dirty, brown shit-slick, as I tried to manage the logistics. Do I hop back to the kitchen and try to towel off the dripping droppings? Do I clean my foot first, and then the puddles, before heading upstairs? The enormity of the mess clinging loosely to the sole of my foot suggested only one possible recourse: hop upstairs and hose off in the tub. I made my way to the foot of the stairs, and found I could use the tips of the toes on my contaminated foot to walk, fortunately eliminating the necessity of hopping up the entire flight. The dog flew off ahead, blown upstairs by the windy imprecations I directed his way. Thankfully, by sheer happenstance, he managed to avoid another puddle he'd deposited earlier, otherwise he'd have left a trail even a city boy could follow. I made it to the bathroom, and was greeted by a towel on the floor. It too had been decorated with another singularly large brown flower, with some additional random splats for good measure. I washed my foot, completely defeated, and spoke aloud to no-one in particular. "What a shitty dog. What a shitty, shitty dog."

I grabbed the towel, emptied what I could into the toilet, and returned to the scene below. I used the towel to swab the stairs, and managed to get my hands more directly involved than planned. A smile, even a rueful one, was beyond me. I'm simply not capable of that level of irony. I approached the mess on the carpet in the hall, the one with the fresh footprint, and got down on my knees. I rubbed it into the carpet, practically finger-painting now, and scarce managed to retain the contents of my stomach. After satisfying myself that the carpet was now ruined, and consoling myself that I hated it anyways, I stuffed the towel into a bag and thrust it out the door, forgetting for the moment that I was completely naked. A woman, idling in her car across the street and two doors up, jogged my memory. I assured myself, without conviction, that she couldn't have seen more than a flash of bare, white ass as I retreated somewhat more quickly than I had appeared. I rolled up the narrow carpet, tossed it outside, and fought off the urge to have a drink of something, anything, stronger than coffee. The dog continues to eye me warily. As well he should.

Now I sit, idly sipping coffee, anticipating the inevitable knock upon my door. It will be the police, investigating reports of a flasher in the area. "You seem to fit the description", he'll say. "Where were you, and what were you doing at 6:47 this morning?"

The upside? Things can only improve as the day plays out.

Optimistic, but struggling.



Anonymous said...

Hi !.
You may , perhaps very interested to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may commense earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you thought of all the time
AimTrust incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with offices around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your choice That`s what you wish in the long run!

I`m happy and lucky, I started to take up income with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a correct companion who uses your money in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I make 2G daily, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to join , just click this link
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to feel the smell of real money

Anonymous said...

I just got my new 8G 3g iphone here in Japan.And i would want to know how to send sms/text messages to my friends and families in th ePhilippines.They are not using iphone,only smart,globe,sun etc.I really need real help,not just comments.Thank you very much
[url=]best forex software[/url] [url=]unlock iphone[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi there!
I would like to burn a theme at this forum. There is such a thing, called HYIP, or High Yield Investment Program. It reminds of ponzy-like structure, but in rare cases one may happen to meet a company that really pays up to 2% daily not on invested money, but from real profits.

For quite a long time, I earn money with the help of these programs.
I don't have problems with money now, but there are heights that must be conquered . I get now up to 2G a day , and I started with funny 500 bucks.
Right now, I'm very close at catching at last a guaranteed variant to make a sharp rise . Visit my blog to get additional info. [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of troubles when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
I have never imagined that there weren't any need in big starting capital.
Now, I feel good, I begin take up real income.
It's all about how to select a proper companion who uses your money in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, parts and divides the income with me.

You can ask, if there are such firms? I'm obliged to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them: [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Alliance Our Notice in the head Prices at, The Conspicuous [b][url=]Online Chemist's boutique [/url][/b] To [url=]Buy Viagra[/url] Online ! You Can also Foretell Mammoth Deals When You [url=]Buy Cialis[/url] and When You You [url=]Buy Levitra[/url] Online. We Also Incorporate a Ginormous Generic [url=]Phentermine[/url] In pay for the sake of of Your Victuals ! We Hawk Bring into disfavour [url=]Viagra[/url] and Also [url=]Generic Viagra[/url] !

Henry Krinkle said...

I absolutely love my pup. I have an English Mastiff, I love him to death. People never know how much a dog can enrich their lives until they get one of their own. I'll post some pictures of "Zeus" soon.

Like the blog, I linked back to you on my site, do check out my blog about cabbing in San Diego if you get a chance.

Take Care - Henry

Henry Krinkle said...

I've been there, but after being on this earth for 29 years I find that there are few things as fulfilling as a puppy.

I added some animation overlaid with sound bytes from the dispatcher so you could fully enjoy the lunacy that is my life as a taxi driver!

Hope all is well,

- Henry

Henry Krinkle said...

I have a Mastiff. He's absolutely amazing.

Patrick said...

Some of the simplest suggests that of transportation to succeed in town are san francisco cab service, personal minicabs, underground tunnel, routes and private chauffeurs.

Add to Technorati Favorites